Category Archives: Life Stuff

Dr. Who Is A Tory?

Hello Shahidah this is Seth the guy from the elevator.

I have a very small office and I consider myself to be a master of emotion that I didn’t scream like a seventh grade school girl when I heard his voice on my voice-mail Monday morning. He called me back. Is it possible to hear a wink in someones voice over the phone? Insert Big Smile here.

Because the seventh grade Shahidah still lives within me I checked the date and time he left his message, Friday, same day as I left him my message, but  hours later at 9 pm. Seventh grade Shahidah would  not let me delete the message as she will probably listen to it several times this week.I knew he was a lawyer from his card and considering his firm is one of the biggest in Boston I was not surprised he was in the office so late. I didn’t call him back immediately I made sure to go to the ladies room so I could silently scream away some of the excitement in my voice.

He invited me to lunch. I accepted. Maybe I should have played it cool and said I was busy and asked if we could meet later in the week but I’m not that cool and I hate dating games. I panicked only because I really knew nothing about the man except he looked like Dr. Who and loved the Celtics. How long could I fake that I cared about Doc Rivers game plans?

My morning was quite unproductive as I obsessed over what we would talk about for an hour. We met in the lobby and yes, it felt like a French movie as I walked towards him. I forced my mouth not to break into an open smile and play it nonchalant like my friends warned me. As we walked to Legal Seafood I could feel us flirting with each other with our words, eyes and smiles. It felt good to be looked at in that way men do when they are interested in you. It makes me feel all warm and tingly. He complimented me on my dress which wasn’t entirely by accident, since he handed me his card that day I had been wearing my best dresses just in case of another four-minute elevator date. I was very interested in him.

He said I had the prettiest smile and always seemed happy when he saw me on the elevator. I confessed that I only smiled because he smiled at me first. He argued that I definitely smiled at him first. Oh well, who cares? Our conversation is polite and casual.

He has very soulful and kind eyes. I wonder if I should tell him that. There are so many things I could compliment him on but I honestly cannot remember from my non-existent date play book if men like compliments like that. He seems more serious than playful and I wonder if I seem more playful than serious and if that is a good thing. Uggghh! Do I bring up books I read or discuss the economy?

I don’t know when we broke the carnal sin for dating  but it happened about halfway through my fisherman platter, I didn’t go the salad route. I don’t know what sparked it but before I knew it were talking about Rachel Maddow and politics. GASP!

We disagreed on just about everything. He didn’t like Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow while I considered them best friends in my head. I totally see myself becoming Rachel’s BFF one day. I know its going to happen and he didn’t like  her. How could he not like my BFF? And yes, I know I am probably the only other than his wife that wants to go on a date night with Chris Matthews.  I forgot about being nervous, I forgot that it was our first date, and I forgot about being self-conscious. We debated like old office cronies. Good thing, right?

As the waiter put the check on the table I put my hands over my faces. “I can’t believe you are Republican. Dr. Who is not a Tory I’m sure.”

“Dr. Who?’

“You know Dr. Who.”

“Yeah, I know the show but I never watched it. Seems really silly?”

There is a wink in his voice. I smile.

“I’m a republican who does not watch Dr. Who, does that mean you won’t have dinner with me?”

I roll my eyes at this Republican.

“Okay.”

Transgender @ Four

I think it is fair to say that most of you who have hung in here with my blog are probably liked minded folk who get a couple of change.org sign petitions request in your email box like me. Most of them I sign even though I’m not big on petitions but I’ve seen that they sometimes work so I don’t mind offering my support through my signature. Every once in a while there is one or two that I have to give the side-eye and just delete. I got one of those a few weeks ago. Take a look.

Shahidah -

Our daughter, Coy, is a beautiful, happy, friendly, 6-year-old girl. But her school is treating her differently from the other kids — just because she happens to be transgender.

We have five kids, and Coy is one of three triplets. When she was little, we used to dress her like her brother, but that made her really unhappy. She would be excited to go to the playground, but when we laid out boys’ clothes for her, she would get sad and ask if she could stay home.

When Coy was 4, she told us something was wrong with her body. She asked us when she could go the doctor to become a girl. We took her to a psychologist, who said that Coy is transgender and we should support her and let her be who she is. As soon as we let Coy grow her hair out and wear girls’ clothes, it was like someone turned on a light. She was happy all the time.

Coy’s school, Eagleside Elementary, was initially supportive, too — until this past December, when they abruptly told us Coy couldn’t use the girls’ bathroom anymore. Now we need your support.

We started a petition on Change.org to ask the school to stop discriminating against our daughter. Will you click here to sign it?

When Coy started at Eagleside last September, her teachers and classmates accepted her for who she was. They referred to her using female pronouns, and she used the girls’ bathroom for months with no problems. Then, all of a sudden, the principal told us Coy would have to use the boys’ room, the staff bathroom for adults, or the bathroom for sick children in the nurse’s office. Our daughter is not a boy, she’s not an adult, and she’s not sick. 

Our state, Colorado, is one of 16 states where it’s illegal for public schools to discriminate against kids like Coy. Eagleside had an opportunity to teach kids to celebrate each other’s differences, but instead they set our daughter up for harassment and bullying. Coy doesn’t understand why she can’t be treated the same as all the other little girls.

We are grateful to have the support of LGBT advocates, thanks to the work of Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) and GLAAD. We also know that lots of other schools have done the right thing for LGBT students (such as allowing Gay-Straight Alliances) after being petitioned to do so on Change.org. We hope that if enough people sign our petition, Eagleside Elementary will comply with the law and treat our daughter with equality and respect.

Click here to sign our petition demanding that Eagleside Elementary allow our daughter, Coy, to use the girls’ bathroom.

Thank you,

Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis
Fountain, Colorado

Change Org Pic

 

Now, I have a real problem with signing this one but I have not deleted it. Her parents say that when she was four she expressed unhappiness over her body, and a psychologist determined she was transgender. I’ve been pretty speechless about this since I got this email on March 6 but I have thought about it pretty much everyday. Can a four-year old child really be transgender? I think of my daughter at four who wanted to be a  boy like her brothers and was often caught outside with no shirt on with her Osh Kosh B’Gosh overalls. She displayed strong tomboyish ways all the way up to the sixth grade. I went with it. Same with my son’s. I didn’t freak out when my boys carried my purse or slipped into a pair of my shoes and I don’t understand parents who do. I did not encourage my daughter to act or dress like a boy a four nor did I encourage my boys to act or dress like girls just because they liked a pair of pumps in my closet. I know not all  children grow ‘out’ of their desire to be the other sex but should a parent go this far and should other children and parents be subjected to it at a six-year-old level? I just find this story very disturbing, not because of the little ‘girl’ but the parents who clearly made this decision for her. I feel bad for the parents who  feel like they are bad people because they don’t want to confuse their own children with this new transgender issue.

The parents say their son was very unhappy until they started dressing him as a girl. I would never want my children to be miserable so I understand the parents but only up to a point. I think they went to far. What if at nine the girls decides she wants to be a boy after all? This is not a childish whim, I know, but how much indulgence should a parent give?

This is more of a what do you think post because I have no answers and my only opinion is that I do believe that something as drastic as changing the child’s gender identity should be put on hold for a few years.

It’s one of those things IMO that falls into the category just because something can be done does not mean it should.

What say you?

 

 

The Year of Foolishness

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Charles Dickens

I don’t believe anything is more fitting to describe the last year in America than this opening from Tale of Two Cities. It was the incredulous year that brought us Romney vs. Obama, Conservatives vs. Liberals, Teabaggers vs. Government, Sanity vs. Insanity, Fox vs. MSNBC, Rich vs. Poor and the Angry White Christian Male vs. Women/Blacks/Latinos/Asians/Gays etc. It has been a year of hateful buffoonery.

Hate was a cultural theme throughout the year as we headed towards November elections. America 1 wanted to bring us back to an era lost, the wonderful golden age when Black Americans were second class citizens, women possessed little rights in the workplace or home, Latinos were obsolete in the polls, and white men were the only men who could call the White House home. America 1 does not want your sick, your tired or poor or huddled masses that yearn to breathe free. America 1 wants you to die of a heart attack if you can not afford healthcare and freedom is subjective.

America 2 wants to pilot us into a better future, care for the sick, the poor and personal freedoms. America 2 grew in numbers that restored a lot of my personal faith in humanity. America 2 fought hard and long against the racism, the sexism and for the equality of all people, not just a chosen few.

America 2 gave us Barak Obama while America 1 gave us pathological liar/robot Mitt Romney. America 1 gave us voter suppression, long voting lines, and lie after lie about socialism, entitlements, welfare, and who saved the auto industry. America 2 stood in lines for up to seven hours, knocked on doors, went toe to toe with Citizens United, and sent Tagg Romney a clear message: America does NOT want your dad.

America 1 spewed lies via Fox News and its elected officials. America 2 gave us MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart.

America 1 gave us Rush ‘Jabba the Fatass’ Limbaugh, Glen ‘American Terrorist Bastard’ Beck, Michelle ‘Batshit Crazy’ Bachman, and Sarah ‘STFU’ Palin, repeatedly, like irremovable cysts in our ass. Their audience is the most uninformed and least educated electorate ever. They shun education; remember when Rick Santorum uttered this gem; President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college, what a snob. America 2 said What an idiot, yet America 1 cheered this kind of rhetoric; Anti-Obama, Anti-Education and very Pro-Stupidity world. America 2 gave everyone the right to affordable college tuition/loans/grants.

It would be nice to say that after November the two Americas would come together and stand united but the shootings in Newtown, CT has even proven to divide us. Very sad that such a tragedy only invoked more bitterness from America 1 with the intent of keeping guns instead of regulating laws to keep them out of the hands of people who clearly do not need them.

Onward to 2013 we go. The fight will continue…



Winning at all Cost: For Shame Mr. Romney

 

Race. It has come down to that for the Grand Old Party. With zero percent of the African-American vote and the Latino vote slipping it comes down to angry uneducated white men/women who are afraid of losing their America. Instead of calming their fears you have chosen to exasperate them. You  have chosen to divide this country by creating a ‘them’ and ‘us’ America.

Shame on Mr. Romney.

Well I’m America too Mr. Romney. Did you notice the faces at the Democratic National Conventions? Americans were there. White, Black,  Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, Atheist, men, women, children…they are Americans too. Where were all our faces at the grand old party?

You say you are a moral man Mr. Romney but where are those morals? Where is this religious family man compass you speak so  highly of but have yet to demonstrate to America?  Manipulating, distorting, and misleading the truth is just plain old lying and you have done a lot of that.o

Desperation. Winning at all cost. Suppressing votes. Desperation.

You are not what America needs at all. You are a terrorist, sir. No one may have ever asked you to see your birth certificate but we certainly need to ask you to show us your good character. But  I suspect (no, I know)  you lost any good character years ago. Many, many, many years ago. I hope you really do find the God you say drives you….a God I do not want to know if  that is true.

Shame on you Mr. Romney. Go away.

PRAY HATE PRAYHATE

 

 

I don’t care about religions anymore. I don’t care if you believe in one God or many. What I do care about is common respect for a fellow human being. It is not my intent to bash Christianity. I’m not Christian and never will be but I respect anyone who truly holds Christianity in their hearts. I was raised Muslim and although I do not practice like I should-I don’t cover my hair and I refuse to wear hijab so I’ll take that up with Allah when we meet. But I do carry Islam in my heart. I’m a good person. I treat people well and I only expect to be treated the same. I could never scream out things that attempt to break someones soul and destroy their character.

When I was a teenager I could be the mean girl. I was insecure, selfish, and spoiled. I could say somethings that would cut like a knife but you know what? That night as I tried to go to sleep my subconscious would replay my day for me and I’d be haunted. I grew out of being mean, slowly, but I found it so much easier to be a good person than it was to be hateful. I learned that lesson early in life. It boggles my mind how day after day after day since 2008 that I can see men and women filled with so much rage and so much hate and not feel dirty from it.

What is it in their soul that keeps that hate so pure? So many of these people claim a religion, claim this country was built on this religion, and will wear their WWJD t-shirts proudly but will make statements like:

Let his days be few and let another take his office

May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow

Kansas GOP House Speaker Mike O’Neal

O’Neal forwarded the prayer with his own message: “At last — I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president! Look it up — it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray. Brothers and Sisters, can I get an AMEN? AMEN!!!!!!”

American terrorism.

I don’t see how anyone of any religion can bow their heads down to pray and carry this much hate.

Corporate BS

The decisions we make and a few we don’t usually have a way of turning up for reconciliation, redemption or revenge. I had a few of those this month that made me question who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to be respected. The reason for my weeks long absence.

The last few months I have had to listen to stories of old co-workers as their jobs are outsourced to another country. Several of them were actually sent to that country to train the people who would be taking their jobs. As of July 1st friends from my old job were all let go.

While one friend did expenses for her top executive boss, $350 for dinner, $300 for one night hotel, $90 for lunch and $600 for monthly parking in the building garage, the people down the hall from her were packing their desks. It cost a lot of money to entertain other CEO’s so a company can broker deals with them <Please insert smirk here>

I’m not trying to slam capitalism but I agree with President Obama when he says you didn’t build this on your own. I know Mitt has been running on the misquote but I understand what the President was trying to say and the point he made is valid. I admire a good old rags to riches story. It is admirable to see someone with a dream and a determination and see it all come to fruition. But many of those dreams had help and often that help came from the people whose names will never be in the Wall Street Journal but they are very, very silent partners in someone else’s success. Not all of us have that drive or ambition to be a CEO. Some of us are just the worker bees but if it were not for the worker bees where would these companies be? If there is no back office could the front office even operate?

Its summer and the old saying is that many a deal is made on the golf course. How awesome is that? While some are wondering how they are going to pay a car note others are riding around golf courses making ‘deals’.

I am feeling quite vulnerable these days. It’s not a great feeling at all and it can be very self-depreciating.  I can’t say I’m feeling better but I have made the decision to take better care of my destiny.

be the change I want to see in the world.

On a final note…

Think about what this man will do for you and your country.