Dr. Who Is A Tory?

Hello Shahidah this is Seth the guy from the elevator.

I have a very small office and I consider myself to be a master of emotion that I didn’t scream like a seventh grade school girl when I heard his voice on my voice-mail Monday morning. He called me back. Is it possible to hear a wink in someones voice over the phone? Insert Big Smile here.

Because the seventh grade Shahidah still lives within me I checked the date and time he left his message, Friday, same day as I left him my message, but  hours later at 9 pm. Seventh grade Shahidah would  not let me delete the message as she will probably listen to it several times this week.I knew he was a lawyer from his card and considering his firm is one of the biggest in Boston I was not surprised he was in the office so late. I didn’t call him back immediately I made sure to go to the ladies room so I could silently scream away some of the excitement in my voice.

He invited me to lunch. I accepted. Maybe I should have played it cool and said I was busy and asked if we could meet later in the week but I’m not that cool and I hate dating games. I panicked only because I really knew nothing about the man except he looked like Dr. Who and loved the Celtics. How long could I fake that I cared about Doc Rivers game plans?

My morning was quite unproductive as I obsessed over what we would talk about for an hour. We met in the lobby and yes, it felt like a French movie as I walked towards him. I forced my mouth not to break into an open smile and play it nonchalant like my friends warned me. As we walked to Legal Seafood I could feel us flirting with each other with our words, eyes and smiles. It felt good to be looked at in that way men do when they are interested in you. It makes me feel all warm and tingly. He complimented me on my dress which wasn’t entirely by accident, since he handed me his card that day I had been wearing my best dresses just in case of another four-minute elevator date. I was very interested in him.

He said I had the prettiest smile and always seemed happy when he saw me on the elevator. I confessed that I only smiled because he smiled at me first. He argued that I definitely smiled at him first. Oh well, who cares? Our conversation is polite and casual.

He has very soulful and kind eyes. I wonder if I should tell him that. There are so many things I could compliment him on but I honestly cannot remember from my non-existent date play book if men like compliments like that. He seems more serious than playful and I wonder if I seem more playful than serious and if that is a good thing. Uggghh! Do I bring up books I read or discuss the economy?

I don’t know when we broke the carnal sin for dating  but it happened about halfway through my fisherman platter, I didn’t go the salad route. I don’t know what sparked it but before I knew it were talking about Rachel Maddow and politics. GASP!

We disagreed on just about everything. He didn’t like Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow while I considered them best friends in my head. I totally see myself becoming Rachel’s BFF one day. I know its going to happen and he didn’t like  her. How could he not like my BFF? And yes, I know I am probably the only other than his wife that wants to go on a date night with Chris Matthews.  I forgot about being nervous, I forgot that it was our first date, and I forgot about being self-conscious. We debated like old office cronies. Good thing, right?

As the waiter put the check on the table I put my hands over my faces. “I can’t believe you are Republican. Dr. Who is not a Tory I’m sure.”

“Dr. Who?’

“You know Dr. Who.”

“Yeah, I know the show but I never watched it. Seems really silly?”

There is a wink in his voice. I smile.

“I’m a republican who does not watch Dr. Who, does that mean you won’t have dinner with me?”

I roll my eyes at this Republican.

“Okay.”

Silly Me, French Movies, and Nathalie Baye

I don’t believe the hype that French women have the lock on style. I read somewhere that a Parisian woman would never be caught in the streets with a pair of sneakers, trainers, athletic shoes or whatever you call a pair of Converse Chucks and Nike. Bullshit.  I do, however believe the hype that Parisian women know how to age gracefully and with style, thus making them sexy over forty and/or over sixty.

As I leap into the dating pool my mind keeps bringing me back to a French movie I posted on a few years ago une-liaison-pornographique or the American title, An Affair of Love. Even if you don’t speak or read French you can clearly make out that the title is NOT An Affair of Love. Nathalie Baye is in her forties when she makes this film, about the same age as myself. I admire her coolness and even her bravado to seek out a relationship based on her terms. She is  sexy and confident, kinda how I’m feeling about myself as of late.Pretty damn sexy. Not bragging but acknowledging that at forty-five I have aged well and with some damn style. I feel so French. I feel so free. I feel like I want a silly romantic French love affair minus the horrible ending.

A woman is closest to being naked when she is well-dressed.

A woman has the age she deserves.

Coco Chanel

Second Part of The One from the Elevator coming up. Interesting Date

 

Wrap it Up

Nothing is easier and sexier than a wrap dress. When I’m confused on what to wear a wrap dress is always a reliable go-to.

Similar to the dress I pulled out of the back of the closet.

 

A Maxi Wrap Dress. This I need in my life and I’m not ashamed to show some leg

 

The woman who started it all

 

The One from the Elevator

I hate dating and I hate that at my age I have not found THE ONE. I’m not even sure if THE ONE even exist for me anymore. I’m pretty content on my own. I have great friends and although socially I could use a bit of a pick me up it’s not dire. However, I still miss that personal man on woman companionship that you can only get by dating.

I’ve been divorced for some time now that it really is not worth mentioning.  I was in a very serious relationship for a few years and after leaving that baggage where it should be I have decided to start dating again. Unfortunately the whole process seems like a very lengthy application process for a low-paying part-time job. Well, maybe not that bad. I’m learning a lot during this process and I like getting acquainted with someone even if it does not work out. 

He has a nice smile, a little peppered gray hair, and looks like David Tennant’s Dr. Who in his suit. We make small talk when it’s just the two of us in the elevator which is most mornings. I’m on thirty-three and he presses thirty-four.  I begin to look forward to getting on the elevator in the mornings and am disappointed when I don’t see him even though I have no clue to who he is. 

Well, hello guy from the elevator

One day he introduces himself and extends a hand while he asks my name. I tell him, unable to contain that stupid school girl giddy smile that I’m way too old for but it’s like an involuntary muscle reflex. I like that, the first brush of seduction.As I step out the elevator he hands me his card. Oh goodness is he expecting me to call? I am prohibited by old school rules to make the first call. Why didn’t he ask me for my information? I’m a bit crushed when the doors close.

A few days go by and I don’t see him. This is not unusual but now I’m feeling frenzied because maybe I should call. A whole week goes by and nothing! I seek counsel with my girlfriends. It’s fifty-fifty. Half say if he were really interested he would have asked me for my number, so don’t call. The other half says New Millennium women don’t wait for phone calls but make the call themselves. I agree with my New Millennium women. Why stand on the sideline waiting for something to happen when I can join the game and make it happen? Be dating proactive.

This Right Here is EVERYTHING

I call. Actually I dial and hang up before I get to the last digit. I do this for two days. I feel so pathetic yet excited and still no elevator sighting. I call again and I can feel the blood pulsating in my head as I listen to the annoying rings. I. Will. Not. Hang. Up. Of course it goes to voice-mail  Never even thought about what I would say after hi. Do I invite him to a cup of coffee or lunch? We never had a full length conversation over anything just quick bits about the weather, the Celtics, what was in our Dunkin Donuts bag. With the phone burning at my ear and my tongue turning to sandpaper I want to hang up, maybe I’m not the new Millennium girl after all but the beep sounds and I have to say something.

Hi, it’s me from the elevator, the girl on the thirty-third floor. Just calling because I haven’t seen you on the elevator and well, just wanted to say hello, I know you guys are pretty busy up there. Okay, umm talk to you when I see you, I guess.

As soon as the phone is in the cradle I realize I didn’t leave my name or number and I feel incredibly uncool. I hope he remembers me and has caller ID. I feel incredibly stupid.

 

BPD! BPD! BPD!!!

To all the law enforcers who helped bring closure to my city tonight.

GREAT JOB! WE APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR EFFORTS!!!

Thank you President Obama for your comforting and strong words. We are a better country because of you.

We do have the courage and resilience to go on.

Boston: Have Faith

There is much anxiety in Boston now. Apprehension of the remaining  criminals is imminent. The city is on an unprecedented lock-down, and it is very scary but I have faith. Faith in the law enforcement that has diligently worked to get us to this day.

Maybe it’s because I have been working in Copley of Boston area all week and I have seen the Boston Police, the State Police, the FBI, and the military do such an awesome .work. I watched them do a great job as they secured the site, took care of the residents and established order in the city. I felt secure with them around. I watched the forensic scientist diligently combing the streets and rooftops on Boylston Street. I watched in awe and respect at their efforts. When I walked to the Cathedral to get a glimpse of President Obama’s car I felt safe in the crowd as the bomb sniffing dogs walked up and down the crowd. Yes, I am on high alert but I don’t feel beaten. I feel strength because of them, those many law enforcement officers whose job it is to keep us safe. I have faith in them.

The news is reporting that they believe the suspects are part of a bigger cell and many people have expressed fear but believe and have faith that our law enforcement officers are doing everything to ensure our safety. They are doing a great job. We will feel safe again and these persons will be brought to justice.

I am so extremely proud to know we have some great men and women working for us.

Over Here Mr. President

I’m trying my best to get a glimpse of President Obama but its not looking good. Just happy to be in the crowd showing solidarity to the city I grew up in and the school I graduated from…Cathedral High School.

Shameful Day Indeed

I listened to President Obama today and I too am just as angry and disappointed in the Senate as he is. Please explain to me why we need background checks for jobs but no checks for guns. Why do I need a background check to rent an apartment but not need one to buy a gun from a little gun dealer name Bubba? Closing loopholes does not prevent you idiots from buying guns!

To the Republicans that voted to block the bill…I expect nothing less of you heartless people.

To the Democrats that caved and blocked  the bill…explain yourselves, cowards.

To the NRA who is simply smiling and gloating now please know that we the mothers, the fathers, the American people  see you for the sham  you are  and will not stop fighting you.

To the American People disappointed, especially those who have suffered from senseless gun tragedies: Everything will be alright in the end. And since it is not alright it most certainly is not the end.

Boston Rainbows

A few weeks ago it rained in Boston, that heavy pounding cold rain that comes out of nowhere and blankets the city with thick dark grey clouds. Rain that heavy and sudden never seems to last for long and just as suddenly as it came it stopped and this beautiful rainbow stretched from one part of the city to the other. I don’t think I have seen a rainbow as big and as clear as that rainbow from my office window that day.

Today we mourn those lost in that horrific bombing. We’re sad, distraught, and puzzled but we will find our strength in each other. This thick dark heavy cloud will break and we will have a rainbow again.

Transgender @ Four

I think it is fair to say that most of you who have hung in here with my blog are probably liked minded folk who get a couple of change.org sign petitions request in your email box like me. Most of them I sign even though I’m not big on petitions but I’ve seen that they sometimes work so I don’t mind offering my support through my signature. Every once in a while there is one or two that I have to give the side-eye and just delete. I got one of those a few weeks ago. Take a look.

Shahidah -

Our daughter, Coy, is a beautiful, happy, friendly, 6-year-old girl. But her school is treating her differently from the other kids — just because she happens to be transgender.

We have five kids, and Coy is one of three triplets. When she was little, we used to dress her like her brother, but that made her really unhappy. She would be excited to go to the playground, but when we laid out boys’ clothes for her, she would get sad and ask if she could stay home.

When Coy was 4, she told us something was wrong with her body. She asked us when she could go the doctor to become a girl. We took her to a psychologist, who said that Coy is transgender and we should support her and let her be who she is. As soon as we let Coy grow her hair out and wear girls’ clothes, it was like someone turned on a light. She was happy all the time.

Coy’s school, Eagleside Elementary, was initially supportive, too — until this past December, when they abruptly told us Coy couldn’t use the girls’ bathroom anymore. Now we need your support.

We started a petition on Change.org to ask the school to stop discriminating against our daughter. Will you click here to sign it?

When Coy started at Eagleside last September, her teachers and classmates accepted her for who she was. They referred to her using female pronouns, and she used the girls’ bathroom for months with no problems. Then, all of a sudden, the principal told us Coy would have to use the boys’ room, the staff bathroom for adults, or the bathroom for sick children in the nurse’s office. Our daughter is not a boy, she’s not an adult, and she’s not sick. 

Our state, Colorado, is one of 16 states where it’s illegal for public schools to discriminate against kids like Coy. Eagleside had an opportunity to teach kids to celebrate each other’s differences, but instead they set our daughter up for harassment and bullying. Coy doesn’t understand why she can’t be treated the same as all the other little girls.

We are grateful to have the support of LGBT advocates, thanks to the work of Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) and GLAAD. We also know that lots of other schools have done the right thing for LGBT students (such as allowing Gay-Straight Alliances) after being petitioned to do so on Change.org. We hope that if enough people sign our petition, Eagleside Elementary will comply with the law and treat our daughter with equality and respect.

Click here to sign our petition demanding that Eagleside Elementary allow our daughter, Coy, to use the girls’ bathroom.

Thank you,

Kathryn and Jeremy Mathis
Fountain, Colorado

 

Now, I have a real problem with signing this one but I have not deleted it. Her parents say that when she was four she expressed unhappiness over her body, and a psychologist determined she was transgender. I’ve been pretty speechless about this since I got this email on March 6 but I have thought about it pretty much everyday. Can a four-year old child really be transgender? I think of my daughter at four who wanted to be a  boy like her brothers and was often caught outside with no shirt on with her Osh Kosh B’Gosh overalls. She displayed strong tomboyish ways all the way up to the sixth grade. I went with it. Same with my son’s. I didn’t freak out when my boys carried my purse or slipped into a pair of my shoes and I don’t understand parents who do. I did not encourage my daughter to act or dress like a boy a four nor did I encourage my boys to act or dress like girls just because they liked a pair of pumps in my closet. I know not all  children grow ‘out’ of their desire to be the other sex but should a parent go this far and should other children and parents be subjected to it at a six-year-old level? I just find this story very disturbing, not because of the little ‘girl’ but the parents who clearly made this decision for her. I feel bad for the parents who  feel like they are bad people because they don’t want to confuse their own children with this new transgender issue.

The parents say their son was very unhappy until they started dressing him as a girl. I would never want my children to be miserable so I understand the parents but only up to a point. I think they went to far. What if at nine the girls decides she wants to be a boy after all? This is not a childish whim, I know, but how much indulgence should a parent give?

This is more of a what do you think post because I have no answers and my only opinion is that I do believe that something as drastic as changing the child’s gender identity should be put on hold for a few years.

It’s one of those things IMO that falls into the category just because something can be done does not mean it should.

What say you?